My Pants Were Never The Problem

My Pants Were Never The Problem

Lately all I can think of is how tight my pants look.

They weren’t this tight in the beginning of June.

Between work and vacation, I was away for a total of 65 days this year.

That’s a lot of plane rides and a lot of broken routines.

I was sitting at acupuncture catching my acupuncturist up on all of the things that happened in those 65 days. You can imagine that this conversation was not a short one and in the middle he stopped me to compliment my skin complexion and how healthy my hair looked. And as he was taking my pulse he commented on how consistent my menstrual cycle has been. As a woman a consistent period is a huge marker for both physical and mental health.

As we talked about my health and how I may be a little more tired than usual, we both agreed that my travels did my health good.

But, all I could think of was how tight my pants looked when I put them on this morning.

They weren’t this tight in the beginning of June.

I’m the person that people come to when they are having “body talk” issues. From a young age I’ve been compared to my twin sister and older sister and acknowledging as sisters we all have different bodies has soften myself from overthinking of “how I should look.”

I’ve never been on a diet and for the past 3 years, I’ve drastically changed my lifestyle. I’m not gluten free. I’m not vegan. I drink REAL milk. I eat three meals a day and work out 4-5 times a week. If I want a croissant, I get a croissant. If I miss a day of working out, I sometimes beat myself over it but I’m constantly working on letting that “addiction” type quality go.

As I write this, I feel my pants loosening.

It’s possible I’ve gained weight but what I really did was take a break. And we must acknowledge the difference between the two.

I didn’t break my routines. I stepped outside of them.

We have a pattern of chasing an aesthetic and I’ve used the way my pants look around my waist as a weapon against a well-lived season.

My pants were never the problem. The thinking pattern I associated my pants with was the problem.

The journey of our bodies is a difficult one but reflecting on her journey will help you realize that your body shows up for you every single day, be easy on her.


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