Masturbation. It’s such a touchy subject. Over the last few decades, sex has become more mainstream in the media, yet masturbation still hides in the shadows of acceptance. We, humans, have learned to accept people for their sexuality, protest over rights in intercourse, sing songs that yearn for intimacy, and swipe left and right for a good hook-up, yet the idea of masturbation is still very taboo. It seems as if it is easier to talk about touching someone else than it is to talk about pleasing yourself.


Maybe it’s the adult stores that have set a bad rap for intimate self-pleasure: the single-story building with no windows located off a frontage road or prostitute-ventured street with some kind of peep show in the back. Not the classiest of establishments, let alone a safe place for young women to walk around without feeling some level of discomfort from the local clientele. It’s smut, and everything about that word feels dirty. Naughty magazines and videos with questionable titles. Props with textures that vibrate to stimulate places deep inside the body. But if seeking your own pleasure is wrong, why does it feel so right?


Let’s remove the porn aspect from masturbation and what do we have left? Pleasure. Now, what happens when we take a closer look at Pleasure? The stimulation caused by physical touch resulting in a chemical reaction. Cellular rejuvenation happens at its highest level during a climax. The brain resets and refocuses. Air to the lungs is increased to panting and heavy breathing. Oxygen goes to the brain, heightening senses and releasing dopamines. That thing inside you gets touched. The thing that never gets attention until you’re at the peak of a stretch or the height of an orgasm. Noises start to leave your vessel that you never knew were in there. It’s that thing that you have to get out somehow, someway.


No lie, I love to masturbate. I make it part of my wellness plan, you know, to help me release the bad in order to prepare for what is good. It helps me breathe. Masturbation is all about rhythm and pulsations. It’s similar to a runner’s high when the body is pushed into a tempo of epic euphoria. My road to this level of personal stimulation came late in my adulthood. I was never into touching myself, but as I look back, I was also unsure of who I was and uncomfortable in my body. I had never really looked at myself closely, not long enough to find pleasure in it. Hook-ups were usually performed with a large t-shirt on, so I didn’t have to take a peek at the foopah. It just wasn’t how I grew up. I never really explored my own body.


Luckily, this hindrance didn’t abide to asexual acts. The more I learned to explore my body, the more comfortable I became in my body. The shirt came off and the awareness was switched on. Most times, shame is wrapped up in the idea of self-pleasure, starting young in adolescence and rippling into adulthood. Religious chastisement is a huge part of sexual insecurity, yet the idea of asexuality holds little data in theology. Think about the mandate within the Christian faith of loving others as you love yourself. How is that possible if self-love is closeted and frowned upon in conversation? The irony of it all is comical.

Times are surely changing and as more data is presented on the benefits of masturbation for health and overall wellness. Stores like Babeland and Unbound have helped change the shopping experience, offering a sensitive and realistic approach to adult toys. With Unbound, categories like fetish, jewelry, anal, and party are all a bigger part of a bold brand identity which happily challenges the lude stigma previously associated. More people are masturbating and welcoming toys into the bedroom and relationships. But with the shift in the culture comes a void in education and technique. Undo has gathered some tips and tricks below on the proper way to approach the art of making things go buzz in the night.


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